So this is desperation...

So all I can do is ask for prayer.

I have not posted in a while because my brand new lap top died. Thankfully, the power cord is what actually died... unfortunately, the only replacements I have found are no less than 70 bucks so I have yet to fix my computer.

But back to the prayer request--

I have pretty much been drowning since I got back from the family reunion. I cant seem to get caught up at work no matter how many hours I work. Thank God I have a kid that needs to be fed and loved because without him I would probably just be at the office 24/7 (which is what I did the week he was at his grandparents). It seems that all I do is go to a million meetings or calls and collect action items without getting one second to actually get any of them done.On the daycare front--- Judah's current daycare that is perfect and amazing, across from his school, Christian, and seconds from work is still on a wait list for the school year so we have no where to go as of Aug 18th (is that next week?? um yep.) I found another place that is a little farther away, but it is not ideal--- it is like a double wide trailer with just clutter all over the place and I have to talk slowly so they can understand me. I have a tour tomorrow so I pray it looks better on the inside so I can feel comfortable enough to bring Judah there everyday. I also have to go to Kansas City next week -- monday thru wed and have no one to watch Judah when I am out of town. Please pray that I can find someone in KC as I have been doing some phone interviews with providers in the city and am able to balance this facility visit with you know, my real responsibility -- my 6 year old son. Also pray for Judah-- he is doing well but cries himself to sleep every night with how much he misses Gpa and Gma.

Also I have to make the decision to put him in 1st grade or hold him back since he struggled epically in reading last year. Its really hard to decide what will or will not ruin your kid's life when you are the only one with the responsibility at the end of the day.

And finally just pray that I can keep it all together. As I write this I am blinded by tears that seem to keep falling all to often lately. The realities of ALL ALONE have really started to set in and it is deafening the silence of a place where you know no one. How ever God's voice has been loud and clear and that is helpful... but his hugs have been lacking what with being invisible. We have been trying a few churches but it is really hard to meet people in 2010. Think about the last time you befriended someone entirely new.... i bet it has been a while.

I know the Lord is in control of this chaos but I am having to remind myself of this in a weird chant inside my head as everything keeps piling up with no reprieve. I am sure this is just a moment of weakness and doubt and next week I will be able to report how amazing God works and how I have nothing to worry about-- but here, at 10:23pm, I am just grasping frantically at my sanity.

Thank you all for your prayers-- keep them coming.

Katrina